I start wednesday at my new job, I want to appear well rested and ready to own some shit. I haven’t been sleeping well this past week and a half. Maybe 3 to 4 hours a day on average. Couple that with a nasty cold and you’ll get why my nervousness increases.
Here’s an excerpt from someone else’s blog post:
“These people can go for days with 2-3 hours of sleep per night. Usually they fall asleep without much delay, but wake up 2-4 hours later and the rest of the night, if they get any more sleep at all, is broken into 15-60 minute segments of very restless, almost “waking” sleep. Dreams can be vivid, almost real. They finally get up feeling completely unrested. Note that this is not “decreased need for sleep” (the Bipolar I pattern). These people want desperately to sleep better and are very frustrated.”
This was a clear reminder for me that I still struggle with my mental “illness” I thought I had it figured out again. My thought process: “I’m not sleeping well because of my nasty cold and I don’t even need sleep that much.”
You see, I’m managing fine without sleep, I still have tons of energy I can’t seem to drain but as the deadline (the job) comes closer and closer, it’s getting more and more tiresome and frustrating not being able to sleep.
In the excerpt they talk about vivid dreams, almost real. It’s incredible what I see and experience this last week and half. Is it my mind playing tricks on me or is it cold hard truth?
When I close my eyes before I “try” to go to sleep, I see people, monsters, aliens. Mostly just dark eyes looking at me, varying in creepiness and once in a while you see one that really scares you. When I actually do sleep, my dreams can be so… Yeah, vivid and so real. I wake up with brights ideas and moments but as I wake up they vanish fast, within 5 minutes. I should really keep pen & paper next to my bed. But once in a while they do stick with me.
I’ll tell you about my weirdest one tomorrow in a comment here, don’t really feel like going into it right now.